Chapter 8: Welcome to Sacred Heart!

“So it was pushed back again?”

“Yeah, again,” No Limit sighed, sitting on a park bench with his face in his hands. Sitting with him were Mystery, Danny, Rika and Daffy. And Garfield happily laid on Rika’s lap, who stroked his fur.

“Damn, a date that keeps getting delayed for over four months…” Danny sympathized, him and June have been going out since then. “I’m surprised you’re okay with it.”

“What? I’m a nice guy!” No Limit waved it off cheerfully. “I never want to pressure my friends (or potential girlfriend) into anything!” Suddenly, Rukia walked over to the group. “Hey, Rukia! How’s about we go this Saturday, eh?” Rukia didn’t answer. That’s when he noticed a look of distress on her face. “What’s wrong?”

“I’ve got to go back to my home for a while,” Rukia explained.

“Oh, that’s okay!” No Limit grinned, crossing his arms. “I mean like, what? Three, five days?”

“More like…” Rukia didn’t make eye contact, “a year?”

No Limit’s eyes bugged out, letting his arms drop to his side. “You were saying about being cool about this, dear cousin?” Mystery frowned.

“A whole year?” No Limit repeated, looking like his heart is being ripped out and being stopped to the ground… Oh, wait. That’s just Mystery drawing a picture of. No Limit smiled again. “Hey, these things happen, right?”

“You’re okay with it?” Rukia and the others stared in unison.

“Of course I am!” he scoffed, crossing his arms again. “I mean, a year isn’t THAT long!”

“Man, if I were you, I’d never be able to part away from June. Ah, sweet Juniper Lee…” Danny daydreamed.

“You’re not helping,” No Limit scowled.

“Ah, love. Such a thing can break your heart,” Daffy sighed. “Eh, Rika?” She didn’t answer. “Rika?” Daffy looked over to Rika’s direction. “RIKA?!”

Rika had collapsed off the bench, unconscious on the park ground. Concerned, her friends and random strangers gathered around her. “Are you okay, Rika?!” Mystery asked. Danny and No Limit stared at her. “What? It’s a standard question!”

Rika’s eyes slowly opened groggily. “How many fingers do you see?” No Limit sang, holding up four fingers.

“Call 9-1-1 Emergency,” Daffy sang to Danny.

“Why are you singing?” Rika asked, but bunk when she realized she was singing also. “Wait, why am I singing?”

Her friends gave her weird-out looks. “Are you all right? Are you okay? Are you all right? Are you okay…?” They voices faded out as Rika lost consciousness again.

--

“The mind’s a freaky thing, you guys,” Time Zone suggested, exiting an ambulance with the rest of Rika and No Limit’s team when they heard what happened to Rika. “Maybe she really does hear singing.”

“You want my professional opinion?” Dr. Zoidberg asked. “I say she’s gone nuts.”

“Ditto,” Bender, Stitch, Daffy, and Danny agreed, all raising their hands.

“Idiots,” Wolf and Mystery mumbled, smacking two heads each.

“Let’s see how she’s doing,” No Limit suggested.

Rika was lying peacefully in her stretcher, but that was over when her ambulance’s doors were swung open and she heard (in her head) bright and colorful music. Rika stared as she was carefully pulled out the hospital’s car, and saw a beautiful hospital in front of her. She also read the sign, ‘Sacred Heart Hospital’.

Suddenly, an old man with a doctor’s coat popped up next to her. Judging by his forced smile and tag reading, ‘Head of Medicine’, Rika assumed he was the big boss that everyone hated. “Hello, I’m Dr. Kelso! I’m delighted that you came,” he sang, not-to-much of Rika’s surprise. “So the doctors say you fainted, and you don’t know what’s to blame. Well, put your mind at ease! There’s no ill we can’t outsmart! On behalf of all who work here-”

“Welcome to Sacred Heart!” the rest of the hospital’s doctors, residents, interns and whatever, appeared, singing.

Stepping up to her was a rather dorky looking fellow, who wore blue scrubs and a tag that read, ‘John Dorian’. “Our facilities are excellent!” John Dorian (AKA JD) sang brightly. “You couldn’t ask for more!”

“As long as you avoid the bathrooms on the second floor,” a janitor sang as they pasted him by on the hospital’s lot. He wore a blue jumpsuit and was mopping the street (for some reason).

“This is Dr. Cox,” Dr. Kelso sang, gesturing a doctor jumping rope. He also wore a white lab coat with a tag, and he had curly orange hair and a rather cynical look on his face. “I’ll be giving him your chart.”

“And that’s Dr. Kelso,” Dr. Cox sang, wrapping his jump rope around his boss, “the kiss-ass of Sacred Heart!” On that note, Dr. Cox pulled on his jump rope, spinning Dr. Kelso away.

Up next was a black surgeon wearing green scrubs, his name is Turk. “You say you burned your hand real bad – we’ll fix you up with gauze!” he sang, sipping the end of a bandage wrapped around another patient’s hand.

A pretty, blonde doctor named Elliot sang, “Perhaps you need your fat sucked out, or want a smaller schnoz!” she flicked JD’s nose.

“Hey!”

Dr. Kelso spun an unexpected Time Zone and placed his hand on the teen’s shoulders. “You caught an S.T.D. from some tasty little tart?”

“I shouldn’t be listening to this!” Time Zone shouted, covering his ears.

“We swear we won’t judge you here at Sacred…” everyone sung, also now dancing in perfect harmony like in a Broadway musical as they spun Rika’s stretcher in circles. “Here at Sacred…Here at Sacred Heart!!”

Rika thought she really did go insane.

“One more thing that I should mention,” Dr. Kelso sang, next to Rika again, “if what I’ve heard is true: And everyone appears to be singing to you…”

“Ahh…” JD and Turk hummed as Rika was pushed past them.

“Ahhh!” Elliot and Dr. Cox hummed, pasting them next.

“Ahh…” No Limit and the janitor hummed.

“Ahhh!” Mystery and Wolf hummed.

“Ahh…” Daffy and Porky.

“Ahhh!” Bender and Stitch.

“Ahh…” Time Zone and Dr. Zoidberg.

“Ahhh!” Danny and June.

“Your case is very serious!” Dr. Kelso smiled, as if he didn’t care. “And we’d better start!”

“‘Cause if you think we’re singing,” everyone sang now, “you belong at Sacred Heart!”

“Doctors!” all the doctors exclaimed.

“Nurses!” all the nurses shouted.

“Patients!” all the patients boomed.

Bloo excitedly waved a corpse’s dead arm. “Dead guys!”

“Welcome to Sacred HEART!!”

Rika was finally wheeled into the hospital, letting her head fall back into her pillow. If this was happening only in the parking lot, she didn’t want to know what else she’d hear inside the hospital.

“This is gonna be a long day…”